So, to get back in everyone’s good graces, I thought I would share my top excuses for not posting to my blog. Feel free to use or share these as you feel appropriate. Hope some work for you next time you miss posting. (And a half-hearted apology for the somewhat link-bait-ish headline.)
Temporary amnesia. Hey, if it worked for the soap operas for so many story lines, for so many years, why can’t it work for me, too? “I tripped, fell, hit my head, and was transported to a wonderful fantasy land full of rainbows and unicorns. When I finally woke up, I simply forgot to post to my blog.”
The Internet stole my idea. This is a variation of the dog eating your homework. “I had this really great idea for my blog, but then I made the mistake of Googling it and saw that 4,357,682 other people have posted on social media about how they are just about to stop using Facebook because the new Messenger app is a thinly veiled NSA intelligence-gathering operation. I just wouldn’t have been able to get any SEO out of it.”
Family pet emergency. OK, so this does happen, but only really to dog owners. I have cats. About the only pet emergency for them is their daily 4-hour midday nap being interrupted. “My cat Twinkles was lying there and just wouldn’t move when I called her to come into the kitchen. I even offered her food, and she just sat there staring at me, blinking at me. That can’t have been normal, right? So I had to take her to the vet.”
Twitter hangover. It’s real, and it’s a problem. “Ever since I started following 75,486 people — no wait, 75,496! — on Twitter, I just can’t keep up with all the inspirational quotes and links to articles on how to get more Twitter followers. I sat there all day just scrolling, and scrolling and scrolling, reading, reading and reading. When I finally looked up from my laptop, I realized an entire day had passed!”
Computer virus. The old standby. “My mother always told me not to visit those kinds of websites. I guess I’ve learned my lesson.”
Content intervention. Well, they say content should be addicting. “I’ve been writing so much lately that my teenagers gathered around my now-permanent position, hunched over my laptop at the kitchen table, and demanded that I go outside and play! They then proceeded to unplug my laptop and slammed it closed on my fingers. It hurt so much that I couldn’t type for another 12 hours!”
There you have it. Pick any of them as the reason I failed to post yesterday, and please accept my heartfelt apologies.
Any others that are your favorite excuses for not posting to your blog when you should have? Share them in the comments below. And tune in tomorrow for more great content. Unless, of course, I can think of another excuse not to post.